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root, hog, or die
my moderately secret transguy journal
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12th-Jan-2011 11:45 pm - Why do Scots wear kilts?*
I want a kilt, but those suckers are expensive and I have no place to wear one. Oh, sure, out to the bar you say. Do you know how much crap my friends would give me? Metric tons. Not because it's basically a skirt, mind you, but because only pretentious nu-Celts wear a kilt out to the local dive bar in Florida.

*Because the sheep can hear a zipper.
22nd-Dec-2010 08:36 pm - Gargantua
But hearken, good fellows, the spigot ill betake you, and whirl round your brains, if you do not give ear! This little lecher was always groping his nurses and governesses, upside down, arsiversy, topsyturvy, harri bourriquet, with a Yacco haick, hyck gio! handling them very rudely in jumbling and tumbling them to keep them going; for he had already begun to exercise the tools, and put his codpiece in practice. Which codpiece, or braguette, his governesses did every day deck up and adorn with fair nosegays, curious rubies, sweet flowers, and fine silken tufts, and very pleasantly would pass their time in taking you know what between their fingers, and dandling it, till it did revive and creep up to the bulk and stiffness of a suppository, or street magdaleon, which is a hard rolled-up salve spread upon leather. Then did they burst out in laughing, when they saw it lift up its ears, as if the sport had liked them. One of them would call it her little dille, her staff of love, her quillety, her faucetin, her dandilolly. Another, her peen, her jolly kyle, her bableret, her membretoon, her quickset imp: another again, her branch of coral, her female adamant, her placket-racket, her Cyprian sceptre, her jewel for ladies. And some of the other women would give it these names,—my bunguetee, my stopple too, my bush-rusher, my gallant wimble, my pretty borer, my coney-burrow-ferret, my little piercer, my augretine, my dangling hangers, down right to it, stiff and stout, in and to, my pusher, dresser, pouting stick, my honey pipe, my pretty pillicock, linky pinky, futilletie, my lusty andouille, and crimson chitterling, my little couille bredouille, my pretty rogue, and so forth. It belongs to me, said one. It is mine, said the other. What, quoth a third, shall I have no share in it? By my faith, I will cut it then. Ha, to cut it, said the other, would hurt him. Madam, do you cut little children's things? Were his cut off, he would be then Monsieur sans queue, the curtailed master. And that he might play and sport himself after the manner of the other little children of the country, they made him a fair weather whirl-jack of the wings of the windmill of Myrebalais.

9th-Aug-2010 10:17 pm(no subject)
I have a computer that will show youtube and so on now. Wat should I watch that's fairly short?
5th-Aug-2010 03:56 pm(no subject)
A friend is coming over to hang out, but I wish I had time to rub one out. Damn!
25th-Jul-2010 12:06 am - having heard some new gossip
Oh, man. You show me a trans guy who doesn't fool around with a dude once in a while, I will show you the god damned Easter Bunny, because that guy does not exist.
21st-Jul-2010 11:23 pm(no subject)
Poll #1595499 Christopher Meloni

Best as

a criminal.
a chef.
a cop.
see comments.
25th-May-2010 11:48 pm - regular dose
It's feels so great to be back on T. It's been one shot every couple months all year, and now I've got a solid 20 weeks of the stuff in my cabinet. My libido's picking back up, and you know that alone can make the whole world a little more interesting.
23rd-May-2010 11:22 pm - not quite a sword.
I bought a machete today. I realized that I always wanted one as a kid, but I never actually got one as an adult. Saw one at the flea market for $5, bought it.

Now I need somethin to machet.
18th-May-2010 09:23 pm - a short list but an important one
Things I have:
- a beer
- a boner
Is all the tides flow our way, I'll be spending 5 days on a small island near me with 4 of my closest and oldest friends next month. There's no bridge, you have to get there by boat. We've got a small beach cabin to share, and it'll be nothing but wandering the bay, drinking rum, smoking grass, and enjoying not having a shirt to cover chest, scars, and belly in the sunshine.

I have an urge to buy a machete or other blade to take with me and wear on my ramblings. Why? Because I'm a pirate.
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